


Sex is kicking death in the ass while singing

by kestra_troi



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alpha Scott, Boyfriends, Boys Kissing, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cute, Drabble, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff without Plot, Healthy Relationships, Implied Sexual Content, Kink Discovery, M/M, Mild Language, No Angst, No Plot/Plotless, No Sex, Non-Canon Relationship, Not Beta Read, Not Serious, Rescue, Sciles is Love, Short One Shot, Written For Fun, breakfast Tacos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-23 21:27:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13198881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kestra_troi/pseuds/kestra_troi
Summary: In the middle of getting rescued from dark elves, Stiles has a moment of sexual awakening. Him and Scott talk about it the next day in their own way.





	Sex is kicking death in the ass while singing

**Author's Note:**

> Title is a Charles Bukowski quote.

“Um, this might just be the adrenaline, but I’m kinda turned on right now,” Stiles announced in the dimly lit and oddly spacious underground lair of the newly dismembered Dark Elves or dwarves or whatever. Scott wandered over to his boyfriend and slashed the ropes that bound Stiles to a deeply uncomfortable stone-chiseled chair. “Like a lot actually.”

“So, you’re alright?” Scott asked, not-so-subtly sniffing his boyfriend. “They didn’t hurt you, did they?”

“Nah, I’m fine,” Stiles blithely waved off Scott’s concerns, compulsively rubbing at the rope burns on his wrists. “A few bumps and bruises, but I’ll live. Thanks to you: my big, bad sexy-badass-Alpha boyfriend.”

He gave Scott a quick kiss that turned into something not quite so quick.

“As scintillating as it is to watch you two reunite,” Lydia quipped demurely surveying the deceased earth-creatures dispersed around the room and her obnoxiously unharmed, recently-freed friend make-out with his boyfriend. “Perhaps the sex can wait until after we’ve disposed of the bodies and gotten out of this dirty, unimaginative hole.”  

“Good idea,” Stiles seconded, tossing Lydia an exaggerated salute. “We need to take them outside. If we burn them they’ll just grow back, but sunlight’ll neutralize ‘em.”

“Let’s get to work,” Scott said softly to his pack. Between him, Stiles, Lydia, Malia, and Liam it didn’t take long to stash the bodies outside where the sun couldn’t miss them. After such a comparatively easy operation everyone went their separate ways, except Scott and Stiles.

“I’m driving us home,” Stiles grandly proclaimed groping his boyfriend’s pockets searching for his keys.

“But you’re hurt,” Scott lovingly argued not bothering to resist Stiles’ more playful and inappropriate gropes.   

“Dude, I’m fine,” Stiles refuted. “More than fine. If you know what I mean?”

He waggled his eyebrows just in case Scott hadn’t caught on. Scott made his scrunchy, puzzled face. “Really? You were just kidnapped and tied to a chair and you wanna have sex?”

“Hey, it’s a natural reaction to facing imminent death,” Stiles asserted. “Besides, I’m finding you really attractive right now, my big hero man.”

“Really? I’m covered in dwarf guts.” Scott looked at his hands and his blood drenched clothes. For such little things, dwarves have a lot going on, on the inside.

“So? Hardly the most battered or slimed we’ve ever been,” Stiles breezily joked, only half kidding. “And to be honest, that whole stand-off you had with the head dwarf was kinda a turn on. So whattaya say, baby? My place or yours?”

“I really need a shower,” Scott said mutedly.

“Okay, we can go to your place,” Stiles decided. He held his hand out and made the gimme-sign. Scott pulled the keys out of his back pocket and gave them over without an argument this time. Stiles gaped at him. “But, I checked all your pockets! Like thoroughly!”

“When you were busy groping my ass I switched them around,” Scott confessed, a small smile pulling up the side of his mouth.

“Wow, tricky,” Stiles muttered as they walked to their respective sides of the jeep. “I think we may have just discovered yet another new kink of mine tonight.”

The jeep-ride home passed silently. As did the short trek up to Scott’s bedroom. “So…mind if I join you for that shower, Scotty?”

“Um,” Scott bit his bottom lip. “I was kinda just wanted to take quick one,” he said with an apologetic shrug. “Get this blood and stuff off me.”

“Oh, okay. You sure?”

“Hh-hm.” Scott nodded. “Is that okay?”

“Oh, yeah, dude, totally cool,” Stiles said, only lightly stung at the mild rebuff. “I can take one later.”

“Thanks, babe,” Scott whispered. He leaned in and gave Stiles a tender peck on the lips. “I’ll be out in a jiff.”

“A jiff?” Stiles snorted. “What are you? A werewolf or an eighty-year old retired librarian?”

Scott smiled at his boyfriend’s little joke and kissed him on the cheek as a reward before heading off to the bathroom for a shower. Stiles puttered around his boyfriend’s bedroom while he waited, changing into his pajamas, and laying Scott’s pair out on the bed like a good boyfriend, since there was no way in hell he was going to go home tonight to sleep alone in an empty bed.

When the water shut off, Stiles jumped into bed.

Scott came out without a towel.

Stiles cat-called. “Looking good there, baby. You ready for some sweet loving from yo man, tonight?”

“Um, would it be okay if we, uh, just, you know, cuddled? Maybe?” Scott countered.

“What’s up? You okay?” Stiles looked Scott over more seriously. Usually, post-battle sex was a given. Especially, if someone had gotten kidnapped or lightly injured, which two for two, Stiles checked those boxes. They usually only made it as far as the jeep before clothes came off and hands went places and dirty noises popped out and embarrassing o-faces got made. Something had thrown Scotty for a loop.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Scott replied. “Just tired. And I kinda wanna hold you, if that’s okay.”

“Uh, dude, I don’t know how to break this to you, but you are kinda my boyfriend,” Stiles joshed. He starfished across the mattress like a dork and then ran his hands down his sides in a nerdy-seductive, touch-me-feel-me sort of way. “You can touch me all you want. And since you’re my big hero tonight I’ll even let you be the Little Spoon if you want.”

“That’s okay,” Scott laughed, wriggling into his pajamas and then immediately his bed. Stiles rolled over and almost instantly a set of arms wrapped around his middle and a warm, slightly damp nose nuzzled against the back of his neck and shoulder. “Thank you, Stiles,” Scott mumbled into skin. “For this.”

“No prob, Bob,” Stiles returned snuggling his backside against Scott’s warmer front.

Eventually, they fell asleep, sooner than Stiles thought possible.

 

In the morning, Scott woke up to a Stiles-less bed. He checked his phone. He had one message. From Stiles: Be back soon!!!!!!!! winky-face, winky-face, thumbs-up. 

Fondly shaking his head, Scott slid out of bed and went through his normal weekend ablutions. About the time he wandered downstairs, Stiles bounded into the house carrying food.

“I got breakfast tacos!” He hollered like a man that had struck gold. “For me and my bad-ass boyfriend-slash-hero!”

“Thanks, babe.” Scott wrapped Stiles in a loose hug and hurriedly scented him. He took the food while Stiles plopped in a new _Big Bang Theory_ disk for them to start. He had a mission to nerdify Scott in as many ways as possible to see what stuck and so far, the only thing that had worked was BBT. Stiles didn’t get it.

“With all the wonderful nerdy things I’ve exposed you to like Star Wars, and superheroes, and anime, why The Big Bang Theory?” He asked once, back when the bingeing was still new.

“I think its funny,” Scott said slightly defensive. “And I like Penny.”

“Why Penny?” Stiles had crossed his arms. “Cuz you think she’s hot?”

“Yeah,” Scott readily admitted. “And she’s also dating someone that’s a complete and total nerd who always tries to get her into the same things he likes. Get it? I’m the hot girl—”

“And I’m the nerd!” After that, Stiles never questioned Scott about it again, even though there was so much better nerd comedy to be had. Scotty just wasn’t there yet.   

Stiles pressed play. The annoying theme song selection screen cut off and the first episode began. They ate and chuckled at the dumb sit-com chicanery and then watched a couple more to give them time to digest. Stiles switched off the tv. “So, because I’m an awesome boyfriend, I got you something.”

“Something besides breakfast tacos?”

“Yep.” Stiles reached into his pocket and handed Scott a scrap of notebook paper. “Open it,” Stiles helpfully suggested. Scott grinned at his boyfriend quizzically and did as he said.

“I owe you one sexy time of your choice. Anywhere, anytime, any extras you want. Signed, Stiles Stilinski,” he read out loud.

“It’s a coupon!” Stiles announced cheerily. “A sex coupon.”

“What’s it for?”

“It’s a sex coupon,” Stiles reiterated. “It’s for sex, dude.”

“No, I know that,” Scott said. “I meant why are you giving me a sex coupon?”

“Well, I know that you have this strong moral compass,” Stiles put air quotes around those last few words. “Or whatever and I know that killing those dwarves, dark elves-things was tough for you. I was also dead-serious about wanting to get into your pants last night and instead of being all upset or whatever at being denied access to that glorious temple that is your body I thought I’d try something else i.e. the sex coupon. Usable in all locations and good for all positions.”

“I’ve saved your life before, and vise versa, and yeah we usually you know afterwards, but there have been other times I went for a cuddle instead of you know and you’ve never given me a sex coupon back then so,” Scott said. “What was different this time?”

“Well, I guess it was your rawr-face,” Stiles supplied.

“My what-face?”

“You know your rawr-face.” Stiles made the hand-claw gesture as if that would clear it up. “Last night, when you went all mano-e-mano with that dwarf you made the rawr-face: fangs out, eyes blood red, a sexy snarl thing you do with your mouth. I don’t know. I guess I’ve never been on the receiving side of that face before because whoa. It was hot. I totally chubbed up for like a second there. Or ya know longer. You really couldn’t smell it?”

“No, I couldn’t barely smell you at all,” Scott honestly answered. “I don’t know what those dwarf-things were made of, but they smelled really strongly. Blocked out most everything else. That’s why it took us so long. Tracking you was like impossible and I was totally freaking out cuz usually I can smell you and track you, anywhere, no problem, but I couldn’t and that really scared me. Luckily Lydia kept her cool and used that phone tracker thing you put on all our phones. It’s a good thing those dwarf things didn’t destroy your cell.”

“Yeah, I don’t think those bozos had spent much time around humans in a long time,” Stiles theorized. “They didn’t even know what a tv was. I mean, how is that possible? TVs have been around since like the 40’s World War Two and all that crap, though most people don’t know this buy they’ve actually existed since the 1920’s but—”

Choosing that moment to interrupt his boyfriend, Scott kissed him. The first kiss shut him up, the next handful of kisses were all just for fun. “Thanks for the coupon and the tacos,” he mumbled.

“Anything for you, Scotty,” Stiles whispered back.

“I think I’d like to cash in this coupon now.” Scott wiggled his eyebrows suggestively mimicking his boyfriend’s earlier expression the night before.

“Nah, dude, this one’s on the house.” Stiles kissed his boyfriend like his life depended on it and yanked him over on top of him. “My treat, for my sexy, bad-ass as fuck boyfriend.”


End file.
